You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
