I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
