this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
