This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
