Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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