so explain again why im purple
no
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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