what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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