it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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