i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
