It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
