Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
