Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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