i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
vagina is talking i cant
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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