Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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