I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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