Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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