spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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