The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
