Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
