I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
