I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
