Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think my vagina is haunted
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
