The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
