sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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