i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
