my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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