I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
