Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
