Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
