The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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