Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
