using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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