Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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