Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
