So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
