The maid of honor just puked.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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