thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
