Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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