party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
