We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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