come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
