dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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