Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
sex in a hospital.. check
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
