Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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