Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
