nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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