He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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