If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
