I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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