I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
