i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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